STUDYING IN AMSTERDAM

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What’s the difference between a twarrel, scharrel and a kwarrel? How do you prevent your bike from getting stolen? What else should you know? The University of Amsterdam asked us to make a Survival Guide for all of their new students starting a life in Amsterdam as of this week. Here it is!

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30 gedachten over “STUDYING IN AMSTERDAM”

  1. Foreign student survival guide for Amsterdam:

    1. Lekker goes with everything. Your girlfriend's mum, she's lekker too mate. Throw it in, it's a bit of spice. Why not.
    2. Every girl on the planet wants you to pay for the date, unfortunately for Dutch women, their main selection is Dutch men. Be that mysterious international baller, you may be broke, but at least try to cultivate an air of character and integrity about you. Supply and demand.
    3. Get yourself a Dutch bank account ASAP. It's cough ideal to have one.
    4. If you're a Brit (like me… but not actually like me cos I'm 1.90), get a good pair of stilts or practice stretching you neck muscles, you came from Lilliput to the land of the giraffes. Which brings me to my next point…
    5. Unknown to Brits and Americans, a fancy new unit of measurement was created specifically to make your life harder when living here! Learn how to do the following:
    a) Disappoint the ladies in style by being able to convert 4 inches into 10 cm (that's 2.54cm for every inch)
    b) Explain that there are 12 inches in a foot and that 5'7" = 5 foot 7 inches = 5 * 12 = 60 inches + the 7 inches leftover = 67 inches * 2.54 = 170cm.
    c) Explain that there are 14 lbs in a stone and that being 15 st 6 lbs = 216 lbs which can be divided by 2.2 to result in you being a fat fuck that needs to go to the gym and start weighing yourself in kgs.
    6. Jeans mate.
    6.5. add any exotic animal print if you're a girl mate.
    7. Get used to taking drugs like a champion, but not wannabe drugs like weed cos that's just annoying. Interpretive jaw rolling will quickly become your best method of communication with Dutchies after they switch back to speaking Dutch to each other in your three person conversation.
    8. Gezellig = pleasant/intimate social ambiance. It's not cosy. I've saved you a year of having awkward half-arsed conversations trying to translate it. Girls aren't interested in explaining it to you, stop being a dork. You're welcome in advance.
    9. Panda points are one per week if you're a student, don't worry though lads, 50€ and a trip to the GGD will clear that right up.
    10. Upon entering Amsterdam the nationally mandated bike laws merely become advisory. You won't get the right of way when at a Zebra crossing.
    11. The best line of defence for not getting your bike stolen is actually a decent lock and a sufficiently non-retarded brain. Attach it to something and it'll be alright. Also fun fact, expect to get fines when riding without lights in the dark and it's niet toegestaan to use your phone as you ride. But then again, laws are apparently advisory so 🀷
    12. If you're struggling to make friends, make fun of Belgium or talk about football to boys. Don't bother to ask the names of these nieuw friends, you won't understand how it's spelt upon hearing it once or twice… or twenty times. Instead ask them if they're active on insta and move forward this way. It's polite.
    13. They put their commas and full stops in the wrong place in numbers. Β£420,000.69 would be 420.000,69€, you must get used to this.
    14. Just start speaking English at them. Don't ask for permission. They all speak the language better than you anyway.

    Beantwoorden
  2. Stay at home. No visitors. If you really need to go outside, use a face mask and keep >1,5m distance. If >1,5m distance is hard, then go somewhere else where it is easy. Be quiet outside. No littering. No cycling in pedestrian streets or on sidewalks. Always be very polite. Best to not drink any alcohol at all.

    Beantwoorden
  3. Mistake number one: Studying in Amsterdam, when you can study in much better places such as Leiden, Wageningen and Delft.

    You also left out that it's mandatory to go to the Maagdenhuis and then not leave and keeping people from coming. So if people shout: "Bezet het Maagdenhuis!", you'll know what to do

    Beantwoorden
  4. I think I saw a friend of mine on the back of a bicycle (bagagedrager) in het Vondelpark. When you do not have a bike, you have to sit sometimes on a bagagedrager which is uncomfortable. Get used to it when you don’t have a OV chipkaart. πŸ˜‰

    Beantwoorden
  5. I'm Dutch and have never heard of these words Twarrel, kwarrel and prela. But i live outside the ring. I would never want to live inside! If you want to see culture, you really should go outside! Because most of Amsterdam is specially made for tourism. And most parts of The Netherlands are nothing like they show in Amsterdam. They call it culture but it is all really old and not "used?" anymore.

    Beantwoorden

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